Why did he disappear?
I had been seeing this man casually for about 7 months until December. He is 31 and I am 25, and we have been friends for about 3 years. He lives a hour away, and works 65-70 hours a week. Needless to say, we didn't spend that much time together, which was good for me because I appreciate a lot of personal space. We called or texted once or twice a week, and saw each other once or twice a month. A couple of months ago, we were celebrating his birthday, and he starts telling me how special I am to him and that he isn't seeing anyone else. Since then he had been confiding in me more, in regards to his feeling for me, as well as personal things like work, family and friend type issues. It seemed as though we were getting pretty close, even though we aren't together much. He is always very affectionate to me, and when we are together it is very intimate. I think he may have some commitment issues, but that doesn't really bother me, because I have a few myself and I don't put any pressure on him. At the beginning of December, he text me to tell me that he was coming to town the next evening and wanted to get together, I told him that was fine to call me the next day. Well, he never called and so I made other plans. That night he calls me at 4am, freaking out because he had just received a call from a hospital in Cincinnati, where his brother had been hit by a car. He was still in town, staying at his mother's house, and he begged me to comeover. So I went, I comforted him, called and booked him a flight and drove him to the airport. He texted me the next day, thanking me for my help and telling me that he and his brother were home now, and his brother was ok. And then I don't hear from him for a week, so I text him on Friday and he tells me he will come see me on Saturday. Saturday comes and I never hear from him, so I made other plans. I didn't hear from him for a few weeks,so I gave up and refused to put forth anymore effort. And then finally calls me, drunk on Christmas Eve, just to say "hey, and that he misses me." He text me again on Christmas Day, and then again on New Years Day. But I haven't heard from him for over a month now. I hung out with some mutual friends the other day, some of his best friends. One of them was telling the other about how he called me when his brother got hurt, and I took him to the airport, like it was a really big deal or something. The other friend was shocked. I don't understand their reaction, and I don't know why he has just disappeared?
Psychology - 3 Answers
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Wow, long question! It sounds as if he thinks & acts the same way you do. He also has a need for personal space. You also mentioned that he might have commitment issues, right? Put that on top of his brother's accident, & it's easy to see how these things could overwhelm him. Once that happens, he'll have a different need-get away by himself. Let him. As far as his returning to you, there's maybe about a 50-50 chance. Don't count on it happening too much, & "hopefully" you won't be disappointed if it doesn't. See things from his perspective. If he's not back in a few weeks or a month, maybe it's time to face facts and look elsewhere. I wish it was different for you, but stuff doesn't always work out the way we wish they would.
I use to do this with one of my ex girlfriends, I got fed up with her because she would go ape shit everytime I was with a girl, she loved me to much I guess and sometimes I would lie to her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, then I just decided to just leave her.